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Best Job in America: Guy Who Buys Obama’s Smokes

I reckon that the best job in America is being the guy who is trusted with the solemn duty of buying Obama’s cigarettes.  You get to do a job for Obama that brings you into an inner circle, but doesn’t involve ‘taking a bullet for the big guy,’ or all that appearing before congressional subcommittees–what a bummer that would be.

It needs to be someone super dependable, but not corruptible, like the kids.  I’m guessing the guy who buys Obama’s smokes is also part of the basketball crew, and the irony of it all is just too obvious for anyone to mention.  My money is on Criag Robinson who’s Michelle’s bro.  It could be Robinson and Obama’s little secret bonding thing they do behind Michelle’s back.

I support Obama’s smoking.  A man needs a vice.  It helps a man retain a sense of dude-sovereignty, and for someone in Obama’s position smoking is far better than the usual alternatives: gambling, women, booze, drugs, etc.  Trust me on this people.  We’re all better off with Obama smoking.